Yogi Berra, M.D.

“The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men. Gang aft agley.” Robert Burns, 1785

“Play ball!”

After a long winter, those are words that rank right up there with “I love you,” and “Have a beer!”

Especially this year.

Yep, this week the Twinkies were back at Target Field and after a long, long year they’re letting fans back into the ballpark.

I sure hope they don’t blow it … both the Twinks and the fans.

To be sure, an afternoon in the stands won’t be just like it used to be. You’ll need a mask to go with that hot dog, score card and over-priced beer. There’ll be a lot of empty seats that won’t be blamed on poor pitching and an even longer line for the ladies’ room since everyone’s supposed to be standing six feet apart.

Yeah, things ain’t like they used to be, but we’re getting closer.

The fact that people are getting a shot in the arm is giving the whole country a shot in the arm. The fact that more than three million of us are getting needled every day is what let 10,000 of us into the ballpark on Opening Day. If we have a chance to put the kibosh on COVID, this may be it.

I’m pleased to report that I’m among the privileged punctured. Being on the receiving end of a long needle never felt so good. Since the Moderna protocol calls for two shots, I suggested that I ought to be getting one in each arm, all the better to spread the anti-viral goodness more evenly across my corpulent corpus. The needle-wielding masked man assured me I needn’t do that – either-or or both, the result would be same-same.

I took him at his word, cuz he wouldn‘t have been issued a white coat and N-95 mask if he didn’t know more about sickness and health than I do.  That’s an important thing to keep in mind. Dad often wondered why people would pay to see a doctor and then not do what they’d say – making a personal exception to medical opinions regarding giving up beer and beefsteak. Other than that, for darn near 95 years he was darn good at following medical advice – right up to when he was advised that time was about up.

Well, the advice we’re getting now is for everybody to get out, roll up a sleeve and get that Fauci Ouchie. Take one – or more likely two – for the team, or so folks can go see the team play ball. They’re also reminding us that until just about everybody’s been vaccinated, the virus is still blowing in the wind – so wearing a mask and keeping our distance has to be the rule of the day until the all-clear sounds – or the all-clear isn’t going to sound.  Let’s be reminded that a year ago at this time we were locking down, not opening up; unmaking plans, not making them; hearing the approaching siren, fearing it’s stop was on our street next. We may have come a long way, baby, but life – and this pandemic – is full of little surprises.

Yes, the turnstiles were open for Opening Day, but a single sunny day doth not a summer make. The same day the Twinkies took their first home field at-bats, Minnesota’s hospitalized COVID cases were up by 40 percent over the previous 10 days and the state’s test positive rate was at 6 percent – indicating a serious and rapid spread of the virus.

Like Yogi Berra’s said to have said, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

Got tickets for a ball game next month? Thinking about going to Disneyland? Maybe planning a day at the fair…

Get your shot. Wear your mask. Keep your distance.

Listen to Yogi.